Michelle Buteau is all over Netflix: The Comedy Lineup, Always Be My Maybe, Tales of the City, just to name a few. But what advice would she give her younger self? Listen to this episode to hear the answer to that and so much more!
Michelle Buteau is all over Netflix: The Comedy Lineup, Always Be My Maybe, Tales of the City, just to name a few. But what advice would she give her younger self? Listen to this episode to hear the answer to that and so much more!
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Catherine: Welcome to I Hate Talking About Myself, the podcast where your favorite stars from Netflix series and films pull our most curious questions out of a beautiful glass bowl, and they interview themselves. It’s chic. This week, we’ve got comedian Michelle Buteau on the pod. She’s all over your Netflix service, either doing stand up on the comedy line up, or helping her bestie, Ali Wong, out in Always Be My Maybe, or just being the best as Wren in Tales of the City. But on this pod, she’s exposing her explicit guilty pleasure. This episode is more adult, but hey, we’re all adults here, right?
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Michelle: Hey, my name is Michelle Buteau, and I’m about to interview myself for I Hate Talking About Myself, which is such a damn lie. Who doesn’t love talking about my back fat, and freckles, and top titty meat? Get in here. Let me breastfeed everybody.
What does the phrase guilty pleasure mean to you?
Well, I’m catholic, and I’m female. It just means, you know, satisfying yourself but making yourself feel bad. So guilty pleasure, chocolate and masturbating. But you got to masturbate under the covers, because God is watching if you’re on top.
Who was the first famous person you met? Were you awkward?
I don’t know. My first interview was Richie Sambora, from Bon Jovi, back in the diz-ay when I was a wannabe entertainment reporter, but he was kind of a dick to me. So maybe the first famous person that I liked—I met Angelina Jolie and I told her that people tell me I look like a Puerto Rican version of her. We never met again.
What was your first extravagant purchase?
Tampons. I had to pay taxes on them. LOL. My first extravagant purchase? My abortion.
If you got trapped with no reception, and had only five songs on your phone, what would you hope they were?
Oh, what a crazy question. And I’m very claustrophobic, and I somehow always get trapped in elevators, so I feel like this question truly is for me. As of now, this week, if I’m going to be trapped in the elevator, it would be Juice by Lizzo, Redemption Song by Bob Marley, anything by Nina Simone, Mary J Blige’s Real Love, and Gloria by Laura Branigan. I’m old as fuck. I could be like, everybody’s mom.
What’s the most random fact or weirdest piece of history you know?
I know that my birthday is July 24, and I also share that with Amelia Earhart, and we have so much in common. We’re both bad at directions. Hey-oh!
Tell us about a time in your life when you made a conscious decision not to play it safe?
I met my husband through a one-night stand. So, I decided to open my mind, and my legs. I sat on his dick and fell in love. It was wonderful, but wear condoms because we’re all too cute for bacteria.
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Next question. Please do your favorite impression, even if it’s terrible.
Okay. So my mom is from Jamaica, and I really don’t know how to do a Jamaican accent, but I can do the one thing she’s told me my whole life, which is like, “Michelle, no! Why? Why, Michelle? No, why?” By the way, I don’t even know how my mom raised me. She can’t even get through a hard piece of bread at a restaurant. I’m like, “Really, Buteau, that’s going to take you down? The fucking crust? Like, tear it off or dip it in water, but fucking adapt, bitch.” Happy Mother’s Day to all those mothers out there, though.
When was the first time you saw a piece of yourself reflected on screen?
The first time I saw myself represented on screen is definitely Purple Rain. I was like, “Yes!” Purple Rain was also my first concert, and when I saw Prince, I was like, “I want to be that woman when I grow up.”
What’s your biggest fear?
Oh my god. Biggest fear, not being able to find a clean pair of panties. JK. Biggest fear? I don’t know. Gun shot, Alzheimer’s, Kim Kardashian having another kid? Sorry, is that—Are you guys friends with her?
If you could give your younger self advice, what would it be?
Don’t tell yourself “no” before people tell you “no.”
What piece of art can you not stop thinking about? Book, painting, podcast, song.
Nothing. Truly, nothing. The only thing I think about right now are my four-month-old babies, and how much they grow every day. And they’re just adorable.
This is great. I love this. You know why? This is—I get to talk, and no one is saying anything. This is like the opposite of couples’ therapy.
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Catherine: That was comedy queen, Michelle Buteau. Michelle, I also want to be Prince when I grow up. Thanks for listening this week. Make sure to subscribe, so you don’t miss another fishbowl interview. Like now, subscribe right now. What do you have to lose? I Hate Talking About Myself is produced by Pineapple Street Media and Netflix. Our music is by Hansdale Hsu, and it’s hosted by me, Catherine Cohan, your hostess with the most-est.
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